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Valentine’s Day has come and gone for another year but as I scrolled through my social media timeline, which was full of Valentine’s images and best wishes, it made me wonder about something.

Why is Valentine’s Day so important?

Why do we wait to make other’s feel special?

What happens every other day of the year?

 

Of course some people make sure they express their love and appreciation every day. But many people seem to wait until special occasions to show they care. They shower those they love with gifts and cards on one day and then ‘forget’ about showing appreciation on every other day.

Which do you think will make the most lasting impression?

What if you were to take some of the energy you put into Valentine’s Day and spread it around on every day instead? How might this improve your most intimate relationships?

I’m not talking about gifts and cards necessarily because it’s not about how much money you spend. It’s about little messages that let someone know you’re thinking of them. It’s picking a flower from beside the road and bringing it home. It’s making extra eye contact and showing appreciation for the person beside you.

Making your nearest and dearest feel loved an appreciated brings joy to them but it also helps you heal your own emotional wounds. As you give more love to others, you will begin to give more love to yourself at the same time.

How are you loving yourself right now?

Let’s take a typical morning and run an experiment.

You get out of bed and look into the mirror … what’s the first thing you think?

OMG, I look so tired. I can see a new wrinkle. Is that a new grey hair?

 

At breakfast time you might say … I shouldn’t have this because I’m getting fat but it just tastes so great I have to eat it.

I could give you other examples but you get the drift.

Does any of this sound familiar?

How often do you judge yourself throughout the day?

How often do you tell yourself you’re not good enough, that you’re a failure, that you’ve made so many mistakes; this is not self-love.

In truth, you’re telling yourself that you’re not very loveable throughout the day.

How can you expect others to love your unconditionally when you don’t love yourself?

When you’re judging and criticising yourself constantly, there’s a definite energy that’s created that others will pick up on.

If you want more love in your life, or want to improve your relationships, the first place to start is with yourself.

Start forgiving yourself for the judgements and negative thoughts you’ve had of yourself.

Start recognizing how incredible your body is. Billions of cells are working on your behalf. They’re always working to keep you healthy and happy.

Start focusing on the things you love about yourself. Perhaps you love your eyes. Or the shape of your fingers. Maybe you love your hair or nails.

Start by looking at your habits, talents or traits. Perhaps you love the way you’re always there for others. Or the way you love to dance, play an instrument or sing. Maybe you love how organized you are.

When you focus on the things you already admire and love about yourself, you will appreciate yourself more. You will release the judgements you’ve been making. Your energy will shift as you focus on love and act from love.

Pay attention to the way you talk to yourself and ask some questions.

Is this really true?

Where has this idea come from?

All judgement comes from the expectations of others. Expectations of how a woman should be. How a man should be. What’s okay/what’s not okay. What’s ‘normal’ …

These judgements have been passed on to you by others but you don’t have to agree with them. Normal is simply a matter of perception.

What was beautiful 100 years ago is different from our perception of beautiful today.  

What was normal 50 years ago is very different from today.

Every generation has its own version of normal.

It’s a constantly evolving thing.

Therefore, there is no normal.

Which means you get to decide what is true for you.

When you talk to yourself with love, and ask a question from a place of love, you will receive a loving answer. You may get a message that will help you take action. Or a reason why something is the way it is.

Releasing self-judgement and stepping into acceptance and self-love, makes life so much easier.

You will begin to feel loved, be free to give love to others every day (not just on Valentine’s Day) and your relationships will automatically improve.

Give yourself the greatest gift of all … the gift of love for you.

And everything around you will begin to change instantly.